I love horses. I'm captivated by those big majestic animals that fly like the wind as their rider chases down a calf to rope it at the rodeo. When I was in elementary school, I lived in Montana where there were plenty of cowboys, wide open ranges and rodeos. I dreamed of being a cowgirl and riding in rodeos, but I had one drawback; I didn't have a horse. I begged my dad for a horse but he said no. He said we didn't have a place to keep it nor money to feed it. "That's ok," I told him. "We can keep him in the backyard and he can eat grass. Then you won't have to mow the lawn!" That might have worked if we lived on a ranch, but we lived in base housing on an Air Force post. I pestered and pestered him. Then he said we were moving to Italy and and even if we got a horse, we couldn't take it with us. I was disappointed but asked if we could get one after we moved there. "Please daddy, I'll take care of him and groom him everyday." By this time my dad was exasperated and in frustration said we could get a horse after we moved. That satisfied me because I knew it was just a matter of time before I would be riding my big beautiful horse and practicing roping.
Italy is not at all like Montana. There were no cowboys, rodeos or ranches (as far as I could see.) There was a field near our house that was filled with tall sunflowers. The only horse I saw there was an old swayback horse that was totally unfit for riding. In the months after getting there I saw other horses on farms that pulled plows and wagons, but none were as majestic as the horses in Montana or the ones in my imagination. To be honest, they looked pretty pitiful. Nevertheless, I still asked my dad for a horse and he asked me, "Do you really want a horse like these?" With great sorrow and resignation, I said no. That put an end to the horse question, but it didn't stop my dream of getting a horse sometime in the future. That never came to pass and as time went by the dream faded. Now I'm married to a man who is not only allergic to animals, but is highly allergic to horses. I can't even go to rodeos as the dander on my clothes would make him miserable and even send him to urgent care. That dream was now dead. But as fate would have it, I now have horses after all!
Wild mustangs roam the hills in Lockwood where I live. Most of the time I see them grazing along the Truckee River where there is plenty of green grass. It's been pretty dry lately so a couple of weeks ago the horses came into our neighborhood enjoying the grass on people's lawns. At first it was exciting to see wild horses walking down the streets, but the novelty soon wore off when they began gifting us with "momentos" of their visits. This was annoying and disgusting, but they hadn't deposited their "fruit" on my street . . . yet. About a week ago I spotted some "horse apples" down the street and noticed the piles were getting closer to home. Yesterday as Gene and I watched, several of them casually grazed on our neighbor's lawn across the street. Then they walked away dropping evidence of their visit right in front of our house! That did it for me. Now they became unwelcome guests. I enjoy looking at them, but I don't want to clean up after them. As a youngster I never thought about shoveling dung as being part of the responsibility of owning a horse. My fascination with horses is not as captivating after having spent the morning cleaning up the messes all of them made. Maybe owning a horse isn't as glamorous as I had imagined. Maybe getting what I wanted wasn't what I really wanted.
It makes me wonder, if God gave us everything we asked for, would we be content? I'm sure we can present convincing arguments why we need certain things, but is it truly what we want? More importantly, is it God's will for our lives? Growing up the two hardest words we have to learn to accept are "no" and "wait." We may ask God to grant our requests, but the answer may be "no" or "wait." We may never learn or understand the reason behind God's answer, but occasionally we learn that what we wanted was not in our best interests and wasn't truly what we wanted after all!